It was Madson's first day of Prep yesterday - sob sob!!!! He's been so excited talking about his 'big boy' school and his new teacher and having his uniform and school shoes and the hundred other things they need to start school (????) and we've been so excited along with him. He's really grown up in the past 6 months and is so ready to start learning and developing that clever little brain of his and I am so excited for him.
We woke up fairly early on Monday morning and he got dressed all on his own and packed his bag himself (once his lunch was made). He starting getting a little apprehensive as the time got closer to leave and was asking repeatedly whether I would be staying with him...I was just focused on getting out the door on time! (My new year's resolution - get him to school on time! So sad to say I may have already broken that resolution!!!! :)
Anyway - it was all good and exciting and I was just doing what had to be done - it wasn't until we actually walked through the school that it hit me - my little boy was going to school!!!!! I was dropping him off and leaving him here for the WHOLE DAY, trusting other people to care for him and look after him and be kind to him. And I felt so un-prepared! I hadn't taught him enough. I hadn't done stranger danger with him, or had I taught him enough about being kind to others or how to use him manners. Would he have friends, would people be mean to him - all of those horrid things that kids do and have happen to them, and I can have no control or influence over from here on out. Ahhhhhhhhhhhh! I am so scared! You so want to keep them in a cocoon for their whole lives but its their journey too, and the good as well as the bad will help tehm to learn and grow and develop into good little people. He is such a good little man - so kind and nurturing and I want to protect him so badly, but its time to start letting go right? :)
Anyway, I had to stop and sit him on the pathway for some last minute instructions and lessons (nothing like a crash course) and some time to try and collect myself. I was gone from that moment on though - a mess! I was trying so hard to be brave, but friends of ours popped in to wish Madson a happy first day and seeing another kind face make me lose it - I couldnt' speak for sobbing so hard - right at the front door of Madson's classroom!!!!! How embarrassing!!!!!!!!! I didn't see any other mothers being loony bins, just me!!! :) I feel so happy for him and so sad all at the same time...is that crazy? Its day 2 today and its better, but there's still that underlying mourning? I guess change always brings that quiet sadness - and there's so much still to come! Little West starts Kindy this week as well, and then before we know it all 3 will be at school together. Life is just steaming by...
Anyway, here are some shots I snapped on our first morning - I love Madson's grin in these - so sweet and excited.
Look how happy he is. This is the beginning of so much....one thing will never change though - how much you love them!!!!
I LOVE YOU MADSON!!!! xxxx